home | music | writing | contact | about

<< back

(mostly) One Liners
ongoing

Misfortune Cookies

• The only thing more important than truth is a cunning ability to deceive.
• The universe is expanding, and your weight has a lot to do with it
• You will pursue your dreams and consequently lose everything (Chris O'Connor)
• Don't fear your death, others will find great joy in it

Valentines Day Cards

• My love for you is as big as the custom toilet seat we had installed for your fat ass
• I accept your faults because I've settled for less

Chris O'Connor Album Reviews

• Chris O'Connor's juvenile attempts at being profound are insulting to the intelligence of anyone over the age of nine.
• The best thing you can say about Chris O'Connor's music is that it is easily categorized.
• If a franchise infested strip mall were to morph itself into the form of an artist, it would certainly become Chris O'Connor. It is an understatement to say that Chris O'Connor is terminally bed ridden with musical and lyrical cliches. He is super-saturated with them, launching them ferociously with the precision of the guy who gets to throw the basketball shot between halves to win a million bucks.
• If I wasn't being paid to listen to this, I wouldn't.
• Chris O'Connor is to music sensibility what a brothel is to the dignity of women.
• There are now two historical events best described by declaring, 'oh the humanity'!
• If Chris O'Connor were to write an album of adolescent love songs about his penis, it would be a vast improvement from what is on this album

  Pickup Lines

  • I hope you're as easy as everyone says
  • I've been staring at you for 20 minutes, and by golly, I think they ARE real!

Copyright © 2003 Craig Hordlow